Q: How do I cope with long-distance love when there is no end in sight?
A: I feel your words ‘no end in sight’, therefore my hope in answering your question is not only to help you with coping with a long-distance love, but also to help you think about your personal choices for your life. Without knowing your background story to how this all started, and whether you both entered the relationship knowingly, or it came about due to circumstances such as work relocation, I hope this helps.
Love is a very powerful force and one that is hard to deny. Our head and heart can battle and reason with each other, but if it is the ‘real deal’ then no matter what you will need to find a way to accept the situation. Pushing against the ‘what is’ and wishing it were somehow different is not only exhausting but futile, particularly if you know ‘there is no end in sight’. This is where your mindset and attitude play a dominant role in feeling better about being physically apart from each other.
However, there will be those in your life who perhaps at your lowest moments will ask, ‘Is love enough?’ and ‘Are you getting enough out of this relationship’. They are soothsayers, light-dimmers, planters of doubt, and they are there to challenge your feelings and commitment to your long-distance relationship. I say this as a reminder lest you are distracted by their comments, that this is your life and your choice- not theirs.
Truly, the answer is to embrace the distance and recognise it is because of it that you have such a special love. Nurture it and have fun planning and anticipating the next cherished moments of passion. Remind yourselves that your lifestyle will not allow boredom or monotony to set in.
Learn how to value and cherish your relationship with these additional tips:
- Discuss if you both need more time and ways to communicate. Maybe add some flirty texts or short videos expressing feelings. What has worked in the past and what hasn’t? It’s important to avoid cycling back to what doesn’t work. We’re looking for success and improvement!
- Share three meals together. FaceTime preparing the same meal. Take time to dress and get ready. Then, sit at the table and eat together. Maybe make it candlelight!
- Play a relationship game together:
- Sit down facing each other, then reach out with two hands to the screen as if holding hands.
- Take turns finishing this phrase: “I appreciate you because…” This can get you quote emotional, so hold on tight! You may be surprised how things may develop once you get past the top five!
- Appreciate the power of sincere declarations of love.
- Dig deep to find one you have yet to express, or haven’t relayed for a while.
- Write them on a piece of paper and hold them up in silence, so that your partner can read them.
- Create together a Sexy Zest Bottle: “The Elixer for Hot and Steamy Love Making.” Mmm…can you imagine a little sip or shot of all the food stuff that makes you feel? Get creative. Think how you’re going to do this. Here are some ideas:
- Each of you need a jar/container
- Add the same Post-Its with the following on them: Take turns deciding sexy things you both do that you like. Hey! Get creative and add photos, garments, or…well…you decide. Take turns talking about hopes and dreams you both have. Then discuss what to do with this Sexy Zest Bottle when you physically meet again.
Enjoy!
Relationship and intimacy specialist Maggie Bain– also known as the Bare Naked Coach– has returned to the Bahamas to help local couples repair their relationships. She will be answering questions which she has received for Tribune Woman in the hopes of helping individuals with similar romantic problems. The column comes out the 2nd & last Tuesday of each month.
Maggie Bain is a relationship and intimacy specialist with Family Medicine Center on Blake Road. Book a consultation at 702-9310 ext. 130 or click here to book an appointment.
Published in The Tribune Tuesday, March 28, 2023